quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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