your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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