I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
