if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
