I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize