Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Come on in and take your pants off
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