If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize