He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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