his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
