I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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