I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
