i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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