Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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