Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
