I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
