Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
