i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
