Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
