She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
