Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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