No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
