I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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