do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
