ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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