you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
