Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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