you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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