office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He passed out mid-signature
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
