yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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