What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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