I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
