I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
