Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
