My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
