your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
