what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
