i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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