if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
