Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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