Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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