I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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