It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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