So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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