If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
