so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
