garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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