last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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