Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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