I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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