I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
