Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
