We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
