my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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