For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize