no, he came in my armpit
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
