Whod you bang
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
