I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
