They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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