Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
