It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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