Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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